Posts filed under 'Positive Energy'
This didn’t get posted. It’s from around the end of April.
No one wants to hear you’re successful at losing weight unless they’re on a diet. I saw it advertised on tv and was interested. I expected one more diet - hopefully a healthy one. But I really didn’t think I had another diet in me. Then surprise! Paul McKenna.
I came to share and no one was interested. Some criticized it. But Paul McKenna has a web site set up where we can encourage each other and share our wonder. It couldn’t be easier. Diets don’t work. This does.
I may need to go back and take a look at posts, but pc lately seems really negative to me. Maybe it started with the “what do you look like” thread. I felt lonely here after that.
Maybe this is a phase for me. I hope so. PC has been really good to me.
May 15th, 2008
I started to feel sick to my stomach. The energy was being sucked from my body. I…quick, breathe in the white light. By the time my husband had left for work, my body was zinging with alarm.
Already this morning I had put on the headphones and was listening to a seminar at Berkeley with David Lynch on transcendental meditation and film. That was to neutralize the anxiety I get when he turns on the radio in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep. It’s this call in show about ufo sightings and weird happenings. That stuff really gets to me. And then he rolls over and hugs me. Smothers me.
This is the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with. I’m going to find a way to make it work. I have two long shelves of books to guide me.
Last week he told me he is going to look for a new job. - long story. Outward I’m supportive; inward I’m panicking. I know with the end of football season that something is coming. It comes every year, this sense of loss and not knowing what to do with himself, when he turns all that football energy on me. My neat little life is in for an upheaval.
I’ve calmed myself down and now I reach out to him. I send him my love, but I sense there’s a vast emptiness in him that I cannot fill. I send him off, wishing him all good things. Maybe I’ll try transcendental meditation.
January 18th, 2008
The purpose of relinquishing resentments is to increase your positive energy…Away from the person, air your resentments.
Looking for validation, I aired my resentments on the forums. After a time, I was able to see past the resentment. The person I let have power over me is actually pathetic. How does she command so much presence?
She texted me on my cell several times. I answered. She sent email; I answered. I knew something was building. The phone rang; I didn’t answer. Much later I checked messages and she had asked me to come to the phone.
We were planning a get together with our mother. I guessed that my sister wanted me to invite her to spend the night at my house. But I was protecting my energy. She’s an energy vampire. The last two times she stayed with me, she practically required hospitalization, but when I suggested a trip to emergency, she freaked.
But I digress. I guess.
But then, in a quiet moment, really reach to find compassion for the person’s shortcomings, not the deed itself.
I was getting there. But then I decided to blog. Then I couldn’t connect to the Internet. After much frustration, I could. Then the cats came in and started clawing at my chair. I kept shooing them away. Finally, I shut them out of the library.
So I’m trying to find all this compassion, but all I’m feeling is all this frustration and new resentment at computers and connections and cats!
December 22nd, 2007
I found another positive energy resource: Christiane Northrup, m.d.
We have the power to change our lives—to attract more abundance, to nurture loving relationships, to strengthen our bodies, and to deepen our connection with the Divine.
Once I sought to meet all my spiritual needs by going to church. I was attracted to charismatic preaching. But wandering in the wilderness wasn’t conducive to living in our society, especially with a child. I still believe, but I no longer go to church.
Then I met with a psychologist. I found myself and started to become the kind of person I’d always wanted to be. David Kiersey PhD had a lot to do with it.
I’ve never before felt comfortable in society. I’ve lived on the fringes…until now. Being a part of this community is like bonding with other spirits.
December 19th, 2007
One theory of why practicing positive energy sends energy plummeting: In _The Mom Factor_ by Henry Cloud and John Townsend If you had a Phantom Mom, you have probably developed ways to hide from your needs. “Devaluation” means to minimize the need; “avoidance” means to simply shut down emotionally.
I went to a lot of trouble to adjust to a life where my needs for intimacy probably weren’t going to be met. It involved a lot of shutting down and medicating. But, because it’s my nature, curiosity led me to experiment with increasing my energy. However, anything that opens me up causes me great pain. Finally, it’s easier not to need than to be needy.
Choosing not to live in despair, I’ve lowered my expectations. In another culture, this could be considered very Zen. Something Oprah said, “Do you want to be right, or do you want peace?”
These are things I’ll be examining in my Exploration of positive energy: Do I want it?
December 17th, 2007
With Judith Orloff, MD as my muse, I’m starting a journey. The first stop is Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear into Vibrance, Strength, and Love
Learning and sharing what I’ve learned is one of my life goals.
December 12th, 2007